I just got the email reminding me to renew my blog and my meaghan.sych domain name. And I was reminded of alll the amazing lessons I learned in my nine-ish months of buy nothing new. And how I’ve forgotten all the things I have learned. And how I just bought three pairs of shoes online cause I had a shitty morning with the baby (I had a baby since we last chatted, after a second miscarriage -did I talk about both miscarriages here? I don’t remember and wow I’ve really fucked up the punctuation in that sentence) and needed “retail therapy”. Food and shopping are my ultimate crutches and I can’t indulge too much in food because I’m trying to go dairy free for the baby and trust me, there is NOTHING fun about dairy free. Gummy bears only do so much.
I’ve just put aforementioned baby down for a much needed nap, the four year old is downstairs playing with her new toys she got for her birthday (new new, ordered off Amazon cause I’m like ten seconds away from a Prime membership and WHO AM I?!) and I really really don’t have time to blog right now, but maybe that’s when I need it the most? I didn’t have time to shop second hand for her birthday present, I didn’t have time to shop second hand for alllll the shoes I just bought, or the tank tops I ordered last week, or all the jewelry I ordered the month before that…but honestly, I have spent SO MUCH TIME (ha, I really am back) taking shit back to stores that I wonder what takes the time? The shopping? The thinking about shopping? The planning the shopping? Seriously, I need to go back and re-read allll my previous blogs because I have slipped sideways, and as a family of five, we gonna need every last penny. Even the minivan we bought was new (though that was mostly out of my control because my in-laws were involved. And everything where my in-laws is concerned is out of my control. Actually it feels like a LOT of my life is out of my control. The baby’s sleep schedule, my own sleep schedule, my children’s moods, my moods, my husband’s job situation, my diet, my own schedule in GENERAL. This is why I shop. It’s something I can control, something to enjoy, something to perk up these days of exhaustion and drudgery. Did I ever close those brackets? Nope.)
So maybe after I re-read those old blogs I’ll be a bit smarter again? Doubtful? I might need this again, in these days of retail therapy to deal with baby-life, I might just have to find time to write, to think, instead of just to react. So maybe see you again soon….